At a recent women in business conference I brought my 16 year old daughter along. I knew immersing her in a room like that could only be beneficial. The energy in that room was palpable. Busy, successful, hardworking, dedicated business women. Leaders, mom’s and so much more. She entered the room and I barely saw her until it was time to sit for the presentations. Later our conversation was filled with all that these women do for their communities, each other, their teams, and their families. It was so exciting to hear that these busy women were interested in what my daughter was up to, her life plans, and were happy to guide in anyway they can. Does this sound familiar? You might be a Boss Lady, if you’ve got goals and you’re ready to get them done. You want it all, you want to have the personal life of your dreams, and the career life of your dreams, but maybe not all the same time. There are Boss Ladies who’ve had success in their career who put them on hold to do things like raise families, still done with that Boss Lady mentality.

 There are those who want it all simultaneously. They want the career, they want the family, they want the fun time. Life comes in waves and in cycles, but Boss Lady is a mentality. It’s a way of thinking and a way of being. It’s not about being the highest person in charge. It’s not about running the show, it’s about how you act. It’s your daily life as you go from task to task; how you treat others, how you treat yourself, and how you get things done. A Boss Lady is always going to go forward with confidence even in those moments when she has doubt, fear, or insecurity. A Boss Lady is always there for others, and always there when someone needs something from her level of expertise. She’ll help you figure it out and if she doesn’t, she’ll find you somebody who can. A Boss Lady is quick to think of who she knows. A Boss Lady mentality is always looking to do your best, and to be the best version of you. It’s giving 100%…even in those moments when you’ve been up all night with your kids.

Sign #2 You are a Trusted Advisor

People come to you for advice whether it’s business or personal because they value what you have to say. You might just be a Boss Lady if you tend to share your opinion in a direct fashion. Most Boss Ladies don’t have time to tip toe around. They are there for you and happy to help even in their busiest of times, but they also just tend to say it like they see it. They have a lot of education and experience to back their rapid intake of information and are often the sounding board for other successful women. Misty Kerrigan, owner of Nspired Alchemy Consulting, is the perfect example of this. In my office we have a saying…if Misty is talking you should be quiet and listen. We recently watched and leaned in as Misty gave a Keynote presentation to 400 women. She had everyone on the edge of their seats, laughing, and leaving with the impact of her speech still evident weeks later in local conversation. Misty knows who she is and what she has to offer the world through her expertise.  Boss Lady is a connector. The one who naturally introduces those who would benefit from the connection. The one people reach out to when they need a recommendation.

Sign #3 Boss Ladies give back via community involvement and other non-profits

On top of running your business and family, Boss Ladies are involved in their communities. Boss Lady might sit on boards, participate in non-profit events, be a member of Rotary International or other service-based organizations.

Boss Ladies can have it all. These Boss Ladies aren’t just entrepreneurs; they are moms, wives/partners, great friends, and they give to their communities in many ways often by opting in to leading roles. Meet Esther Phahla.  Esther is the quiet epitome of Boss Lady. With a law degree from South Africa, Esther went on to become a successful CPA in the US. In addition to running her business Esther sits on the Temecula Valley Chamber of Commerce board of directors, is the 2025 incoming president of the Rotary Club of Temecula, leader in Toastmasters, is an active supporter of many local nonprofits, and always makes sure that her husband and daughter are a priority. She built a successful career while giving to her community, winning awards, and being a present mom and wife.

Boss Ladies tend to quietly do much for others.

If you’re like Stefani Laszko you might be so happy to make things happen behind the scenes that you may not get the accolades or many may not have a clue of what you do, but that is ok with you. Stefani is the CEO of Mythos Technology. She sits on the Board of Directors of Michelle’s Place Cancer Resource Center and was one of those who actively worked on the expansion of Michelle’s Place to allow them to serve those dealing with all cancers. Stefani has worked year after year with the chamber of commerce, sat on the committee for the WIB conference, supports many local non-profits, and is happy to make contributions when they are needed all while raising a young daughter with her husband.

Sign #4 Boss Ladies know their value and invest in it

Boss Ladies know the value in investing in yourself and your wellbeing is a common trait in these women. Boss Ladies know the value of their time, talent, treasure, and their wellbeing. Many would think that to be a Boss Lady and excel in so many areas of life that putting yourself 2nd or 5th would be necessary. You would be wrong. The Boss Lady has typically figured out that by investing in herself 1st, she is better in all aspects of her life and can make a larger and more profound impact. Boss Ladies don’t ignore nutrition, exercise, or preventative health care. These Boss Ladies know that if they feel like a million bucks they can and will accomplish more and have a larger impact. They tend to go all in and safeguard these blocks of time. Workouts, non-negotiable, nutrition…meal prep or hire out, chiropractic…scheduled in advance and set in stone. Remember Stefani? One of the reasons Stefani can do so much for so many is that she does pay close attention to her health and wellbeing. She invests her time and money into making sure she and her family feel their best.

Kelly Aven is an incredibly busy business owner. On a few occasions employees have commented that it must be nice to leave the office at 9am for a chiropractic appointment every week. Kelly doesn’t even bother pointing out that at 9am she’s usually been at work for 3 hours or more. Kelly is acutely aware that the investment in her chiropractic care is huge in her ability to do everything she does.

Education and knowledge are also a huge investment in resources. Nicole has always been a great example of this. Nicole is quick to make large investments in her resources knowing she will come away from it better equipped to hit that next level of success for herself and her clients. From Dave Ramsey, and Darren Hardy to her local group of business women that she meets with to discuss books, business, and life. Nicole knows that investments in herself will have large dividends. Nicole is the owner of Elite Tax Partners, an avid community supporter, mom, and the type of Boss Lady who is always learning a new skill both in and out of the office.

Sign #5 Gratitude

Boss Ladies carry many descriptions, from confident, skilled, leader, and one of my favorites, gratitude. These Boss Ladies are grateful for all they have and are happy to pass on gratitude to those in their lives. A simple text that says, “I am so grateful to have you as my assistant. You are a rock star.” The sticky notes left for their families and team that read, “Stay awesome”. The calls and drop ins on your special day. Meet Jeannette Hartmann. This successful owner of an American Pacific Mortgage branch, community volunteer, wife, mother, grandmother, and great friend seems to have a superpower of never forgetting a birthday. She doesn’t just remember birthdays Jeannette takes the time to call on your birthday. She calls everyone. I often imagine the end of each workday for Jeannette spent at her desk calling to chat with each birthday of the day. Jeannette makes people feel special. So does Claire Fu. From a successful corporate career, present for her family, community, and church volunteer, and yet she always takes the time for the little things that show just who she is and how much she cares. From birthday gifts to cards and notes. This caring and attention seems to come naturally.

Sign #6 Boss Ladies wear many hats

I’m sure I’m going to miss a few so be sure to reach out and add them to my list! Team member, wife/partner, family member, friend, volunteer, leader, and more.

I know you have already seen yourself in many of the women I’ve described. The traits and stories I tell seem like just normal life to you. That is because you are a Boss Lady. It is just part of the fabric of your life. Your way of being. Just like Tammy from Oak Grove Center. She’s not just sitting in an office coordinating. She is on the go, hands on, literally running alongside these kids that she serves. Her dedication to Oak Grove Center, her team, and those she serves is evident. Running a non-profit, Tammy still went further and became an active Rotarian serving her local community and more. Tammy is involved in countless other organizations, has won some incredible awards, she is a mom, grandmother, wife, and she still takes time for herself.

Kelly is the CEO of Premier Marketing, Valley Events, Premier Services and Espresso Chauffeur, because running one company isn’t enough work. Kelly has been a longtime supporter of her community. She has sat on the board of All From the Heart, Boys & Girls Club of Southwest Riverside County, Visit Temecula Valley, and Temecula Community Recreation Center Building Foundation. She is a dog mom to 4 of the luckiest pups…. just ask Hal. When most would have given up on a dog that couldn’t use his hind legs Kelly worked harder and today Hal is back to happily ruling the gang. Kelly is the queen of behind the scenes and doesn’t look for recognition. Most of her employees didn’t even realize that she starts working hours before them each day.

Esther is driven and so committed to every aspect of her life. An active Rotarian and president elect of her club, Board member of the TVCC, Leader in Toastmasters, and with awards rolling in every aspect of her life including small business of the year. Esther adores her family and their time together. She is one of the most well-read people I’ve met.

Judy Zulfiqar is a Chief Strategist with Watermark and Associates, consultant, partner, mom, grandmother, active Rotarian in her club and at the district and international level, and active in her community in many other ways.

Women like these inspire me, they motivate me to be the best version of myself. I certainly love that they inspire my daughter and show her what is possible. The grace, kindness, strength, commitment, fierce dedication to the pursuit of all they love. Don’t ever undervalue all that you do, I see you, I applaud you, I love that you give so wholeheartedly to your family, your occupations, and in your service to others. The world needs more role models like you. Remember you may never know how something you have said or done will impact or inspire another human. While it’s great to hear it firsthand, remember that it likely accounts for 1 in 1,000.

Thank you for being you. For those who think to themselves, “I don’t do that much”, thank you for what you do. Each little bit matters. It’s what I love about being a Rotarian for over 20 years. We all have cycles in our lives and times when we have more or less to give. We can give of our time, talent, and treasure. When we all contribute what we can as a team the outcome is extraordinary. So, that speech you gave that one time might just inspire a 16 year old to go on and make a remarkable contribution to the world.

Thank you, Boss Lady.